Not too long ago, I saddled myself with a responsibility that I figured I might enjoy, I might be good at, and… well, I had serious reservations about. I allowed myself to be coerced into coaching a U11 (I thought it would be U9) boy’s soccer team. You need to understand that I haven’t played soccer for nearly a quarter of a century, and back then we just played – nobody really had skills or was expected to coach skills (at least where I grew up). So with much fear, knowing that I would have a lot to learn, I jumped right in like a lemming over a cliff.
When I asked what I should be coaching the boys on, I was told that I was basically going to be working on their skills. I could think of nothing more horrifying. How could I demonstrate? How could I instruct? I had no idea how to kick correctly, pass correctly, or do anything else correctly – or so I thought.
As any person with sense, I sought counsel. I talked over my dilemma with co-workers, friends, and the occasional "soccer looking dude" stranger in hopes of learning, mastering, and becoming the soccer-coaching guru. I knew that I didn’t have the "skills", but I began to realize that I had many different things to offer the boys that the more skilled coaches might neglect. I had observed the behavioral patterns of strong teams and weak teams. I had observed when things went well and when the kids seemed to lose heart. I started to distill these ideas and determined that if the kids would 1) hustle, 2) think about helping, and 3) celebrate success they would be winners no matter how bad the score may favor the opposing team.
I created some credos and have worked on having the boys embrace them:
· My Ball! – If I’m the closest player on my team I better get the ball.
· How Can I Help? – I love sending the boys home to ask their parent this one.
· Success Is _____ [I coached them and then allowed them to fill in the blank; basically equal to doing the right things right]
We have played five games now. The last game was my first scoring loss (they may have come up on the short end of the score while I was in Montreal on business, but that is still being hotly debated by my son and others – not that it matters).
During the game I found myself agitated and irritated. Turnout was poor – we started with 5 players (we play 6 a side). After what seemed to be eternally long time a 6th player arrived. Finally we ended up with 7 players and I was able to rotate kids out for a rest. The other team had extra players, on average had older players, they took advantage of recreational rules (no offside call), they had good players, they played well, and they passed the ball.
Devastation. I didn’t know what to say. I did my best to be encouraging. I called out "well done", "good job", "mark-up!!!", "you know what to do", "go, g, g, g, GO, GO, GO, SHOOOOOOT!!!!", I hopped up and down, I paced here and there. "PASSSSS!" I watched, I even said kind things as I rotated boys in and out. I also felt like I kept my cool when I finally asked the referee to call the "cherry picking rule" – which basically means if another team takes advantage of the lack of the offside rule, the referee can elect to penalize them. I checked my attitude (most of the time).
It was two days later, I awoke to prepare for work, and I found myself stressing over the afternoon’s soccer practice. What would I tell the boys? There were definitely areas we could work on. I continued to ask myself, "where did I go wrong?" Then it occurred to me... the boys played incredibly well. They were very successful! They were out numbered, they were out skilled, and they were taken advantage of, yet they succeeded! Succeeded in getting the ball, succeeded in helping each other, succeeded at passing, succeeded in bringing the ball down the outside, succeeded in defending to the outside, succeeded in taking many shots on goal, succeeded in scoring many times, succeeded at stopping the other team’s shots. They were only down by 2 goals as the game closed. Take away the four goals the other team scored while having 1 to 4 players offside and we won that game... But much, much, more importantly they succeeded! I was excited to tell those boys what a great job they did in their last game. That was the most successful game I have coached up to this point!
It’s not about the score – it’s about how you play the game! Celebrate Success! (then do better next time)
- TCS (27 May 2004)